I have fear for the days that my husband and I decide to try to get pregnant. When I was in college, I had a seven inch ovarian cyst that destroyed one of my ovaries. It was removed in an emergency surgery and the doctor did not inform that that my ovary was destroyed or removed until a month after the surgery. With a cold attitude, he told me that I would most likely be in pain or suffer from multiple miscarriages. As a 19 year old, that was difficult to comprehend. Through that healing journey, I was surrounded by messages of conservative Christians that made me feel guilty for the pain that I was in. They would get upset when I mentioned that I wanted to get on birth control and told me that I was limiting the chance at a child having a life. I remember being in absolute tears from the physical pain and wondering how that would affect a future child, if I was able to have one. I believe in choosing yourself because it makes you a better person for others. My disconnect with others was all due to my physical pain and shame of wanting a different life for myself. I had let people control me and my body for far too long. I choose me. Let me guide you on that journey too.